Self commitment

Avid Day 5

If you are following this workshop day by day, you have committed to yourself for five days in a row—something might be shifting inside of you. (If you're completing these tasks on a different schedule, don't worry about the specifics of "day five" ... I'm talking about the general momentum that occurs when you combine a daily practice with the follow-through of completing these small reflective tasks, so if you're not on your fifth day, the shift is still happening.)

This shift may feel like a small turning point for you. A deepening, where before you only felt like you were dabbling. You may be feeling inspired, on fire, and energized by the world around you.

However, self-commitment can also be more complicated than simple follow-through. If you grew up a people-pleaser or were shown that it's somehow shameful to put yourself first in any way, it can feel very unnatural and uncomfortable to do this. You may be sabotaging yourself without being fully aware that you're doing it. Day five might feel like swimming upstream. You might feel a strong sense of resistance at this point. This is normal, too. Often when we are faced with a closer relationship to ourselves, our first instinct is to run. The easier option is to turn around and go back to what you were doing before, which was not reading, not having a daily ritual, not learning more about yourself. But what if you took an extra pause right now and sat with your discomfort? What if you practiced accepting the fact that you’re uncomfortable, instead of shaming yourself for feeling it in the first place?